Story of my life

Love this song though btw. I think he's probably the most underrated artist in a very very long time.

Im not one to complain

or put my biz on the web - but i've just got to say..

I'm currently living one of the lowest points in my life now. At least for the past couple weeks.

1. I've decided that I can never ever trust anyone ever again in my life. I was one of those that believed that yes - there is always one person - that one person you could trust. Well, never again. Been burned by someone that i fully 100% trust and didnt think was capable of doing certain things. Just goes to show you - when it comes to people, no matter how nice/trustworthy they look, you just never know.
The scary thing is that I think ive been scarred. I fear that this mindset will affect my future relationships with people. Not a good outlook.

2. One of my really really good friends is so close to denying her faith - due to some semi-valid reason why i'm too tired to go into here. And there is absolutely nothing I can do about her. Except pray I guess. And even that, sometimes I tire.

3. I'm realizing that medicine isn't really all that I'd thought it would be. Realizing how much I actually hate writing notes. Love patients but sometimes I just want a break. 9-5 is near impossible in today's world. Patients can be soo stressful. You always have to watch what you say/how you say what you say because of money hungry @#$#!!!. I really wish I was one of them old time docs that just practiced med straight up without worry about being PC or about this or that. My how things have changed. For the worse.

4. Nigeria. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired of that country. What the hell is wrong with us.

OK, blog post didnt make much sense. I'm in a bit of a mood, and have been in quite the mood for the past couple weeks. Really surprised me how much I can fake being ok... i've never had to do that, and I was surprised that I could do it with so much ease. I hate myself for that.

Happy new year ya'll.

edit: if you're one of those guys that cheats on your girl - you should know that you are a piece of scum. And if you're one of those girls that does the same thing - you too are a piece of scum. And you deserve nothing better than someone just like you.

gosh, i sound so angry. i know i am.

God help us all!

Found this gem from this website! Couldnt stop laughing. Had to share. God help us all for real.

been meaning to post this for a while now..

but life has officially gotten crazy for me. Started rotations at the hospital = my life really is not my own. literarily.
Anyways, went to church like 2 or so sundays ago - the word spoke directly to me lol (i'd be the first to admit), so i thought i'd share. Wish I had more time to annotate and edit and add in comments and such, but unfortunately i don't. I'll just write out the main skeleton points. You guys can piece things out together or hola if you want my thoughts on it. Here goes:

We need to forgive to release ourselves. Keeping grudges opens doors for the devil to get into our lives. 

-Proofs for how you know you have forgiven someone.

1. Gen 45:1 Don't tell anybody what they have done. 

2. Gen 45:3-4 You will not le them be afraid of you.

3. Gen 45:5-6 You will not let them feel guilty 

Prov13:12 and Prov14:10 - Forgive for you because they would never understand your pain. 

4. Gen 45: 7-8 You will let them save face

 "It was not you who sent me here but God"

5. Vs 9 Protect them from their darkest secret. 

6. Gen 50:15, 19-21 You continue in forgiveness for the rest of your life. 

So yea there you go. It really struck home to me - esp 3. I'll admit, i've played the guilt card for as long as I can remember, and i'm (unfortunately) pretty damn good at it. Def need to work on completely forgiving and not making pple feel guilty about stuff. Life really is too short to hold a grudge. Besides, you're really only hurting yourself (physically and otherwise) if you do.

Cheers. Hope the week is great.

p.s - if you find her/him, don't take her/him for granted. It'll be the worst mistake you'll ever make. Let them know they are loved/appreciated etc. I'm realizing as i'm getting older than wow pickings are getting seriously slimmer by the day. Not that i'm on the market or anything. Just a lil observation.

take care.

perpective

i know i know. 2 posts in..2 days? don't worry it won't last lol. Just had to share my thots a bit.

As you prob know, i'm in med school. Only those in med school can really know how much of a sacrifice it really is - you sacrifice a lot of your life, youth, friendships etc to becoming a doctor. But thats not the point of it.

Usually, the process is college (4 yrs, you pay), then med school (4-5 yrs, you pay), then residency (3-7 yrs, paid minimum wage), the fellowship (2-5 yrs, a lil over minimum wage), then sub-specialty (2-3 yrs, over minimum wage). Of course it varies with what you want to go into. And lets hope you fit family/marriage/life outside of medicine somehow in there.

He was idk in his 30's or so. It was the last year of his fellowship. After that, he was DONE. No more schooling for him. He was gonna start making decent money. He was prob married with kids. Very nice guy, unassuming.

Died in a car crash this weekend.

My heart broke. I couldn't think. What a...tragedy. All that sacrifice...gone like that?

Idk deets - but they are not important. I still can't wrap my head around it.

Really? The very final year of his education? The peak of his journey. What going to happy to his family? Wife, kids etc? Why?

I promised myself today that i'm never gonna drive like a madman anymore. And no, I dont drive crazy - i'd like to think that i'm actually pretty good. But damn - this life. So fragile. So short. Here one day, gone the next.

This made me think...hopefully not just for today, but this week...and the next and the next...and hopefully I can actually make some life modifications.

What is really important in this life? Is it the pursuit of fame? Recognition? Money? What is it that you chase after so hard - that you put everything and everyone else in the back burner? Is it really worth it?
(and no, i'm not taking about him - this is more of a personal thing now..)

Take a moment - hell, take THIS moment (the only one you're guaranteed) to tell someone that you love them. Just do it. Yes, its cheesy or wtv. Still do it. Cos in the end, love is all that matter. Loving and being loved.

Fighting, quarrels, bickering, jealousy...what a waste of our lives, our resources, our energies. What good can you do tomorrow? Today? Who can you call and cheer up? Its the little things...it may be just a simple 'how are you/tell me about your day'...or sending a small package to someone unexpectedly..or just being a listening ear instead of talking and talking...or reconciling with someone else even though they are wrong (eating your pride and being the lesser...or bigger person)...saying I love you...or just taking time from your hectic and busy schedule for yourself. To enjoy life.

What a privilege we take for granted.

Since being in the hospital, my heart is broken every single time. People are suffering...and what do we complain about? Like Ecclesiastes...the useless things...the latest hairdo, albums, etc etc. And yes, I am 100% guilty.

There is more to life. Take a second out of your day and just...do nothing. Appreciate God that you're alive today. It is NOTHING of your doing. And take time to ask...God, what is my purpose for being alive? What is my purpose...for today?

Ok - was about to get on the podium and start preaching there for a sec lol but I thought i'd share.

Sorry it is quite long - just kept on typing. And as usual, forgive any typos etc.

One final thing:

I dare you to do something today...or tomorrow that you haven't done. Something...different. Doesnt have to be exotic or out of this world...just something...simply different. Make a difference in someone's life.

if he's really your man, you wldn't need to fight for him

I'll keep this short cos I wasn't really going to blog in a while. But this is something that i've been hearing over and over again, and it has def given me reason to pause and think.

girls fighting for their man. as in, fighting other girls for their man. as in, 'hey b**, thats my man so get your hands off him' etc etc.

It really makes me lol. My stance is simple:

If he is really yours, then you wldn't have to fight for him.

I personally feel that (and maybe i'm just being naive and what not) if you have a guy that loves you and etc - you wouldnt even have to worry about chasing girls off of him. Its not the woman's job to 'defend' her man from other girls. That should be a non-issue. His eyes should be 100% set on her - so that even if Alicia Keys or Catherine Zeta Jones or Scarlett Johanssen type chic shows up, she still would NOT have to fight to keep him.

If you're at the point where you're fighting to keep you man - you already lost him. Sooner or later, he'll peace out. You can't force love.

And as a side - why do girls today settle for less?

non-witty title

He was barely six years old. Or maybe five? Probably closer to six. I was with the physician attending to the adjacent patient, attempting to stuff some Vaseline soaked gauze in the nose of a patient with epistaxis. Epistaxis = fancy medical term for nose bleed. Hers was probably due to her uncontrolled hypertension…probably? But also could be due to some other undiagnosed bleeding disorder – hemophilia, van Willie Brand etc etc – who knows. But all she was getting was symptomatic treatment, unfortunately.

But I digress.

I was sorta drawn to the lil kiddo – he was writhing on the bed, barely conscious, while church members were praying for him and binding and casting all sorts from him. His family was nearby, arms folded across their chest with forlon looks on their faces.

As soon as the doc was done with the bleeding shouting lady, he turned his attention to the kid. I glanced through his chart – kiddo was brought about a couple days ago in a comatose state, febrile (fever), nil nuchal rigidity, wheezing etc etc. Diagnosis – bronchopneumonia.

Doc was examining the child, and I was next to him. Then I saw something that broke my heart.

The childs abdomen was grossly distended, his liver and spleen were remarkably enlarged. But I noticed a bunch of healing 3cm lacerations on the surface of his stomach. Like ALL over his stomach. It was like someone took a razor blade and just made multiple cuts on the kids abdominal region. I was like…the hell is that? I had an idea – actually, I knew what it was but I refused to believe it, refused to process it.

I called the kids brother to my side, and inquired. The answer really wasn’t that surprising.

The lil boy got sick about 5 days ago. Was really worsening, so they did what they were used to doing – they took him to a native doctor. You can guess what happened next – mr. quack charged them a ton, muttered a bunch of rubbish into the air, and took a razor blade and started cutting on the boys enlarged stomach in an attempt to… to…? I don’t know. To relieve the pressure? Remove the demons? Heal the child?

Kill the child.

They rushed him to the hospital 2 days later after he was getting worse. Actual diagnosis was bronchopneumonia – bad, but not necessarily deadly. But because of the trauma the kid suffered at the hands of the native doctor, he had super imposed septicemia (bacteria in the blood) from the infection from the cuts with the blade. The combination of both was a deadly. The kid was now barely fighting for his life.

Sorry this is long – and I could go on and on but I’ll stop it here. But it broke my heart because stories like that are not uncommon – they are actually the norm. You hear of pregnant women, little children, etc with easily preventable or curable diseases coming to the doctor when its almost too late – after spending…wasting time and money on quacks and native doctors.

Education is one thing – but how STUPID can one be attimes? Your child is dying, you take him to a native doctor that takes what little money you have, and proceeds to CUT UP your child? And now you run to the hospital with no money and no time – praying for a miracle?

God help us.

In other news – and maybe this is a post for a different day – Nigerian weddings are hilarious. The ceremony was supposed to start at 10:00am, by 10:30am the bride still wasn’t there so the priest decided to start the service. She finally showed up around 10:45am – pastor just told her to literarily run down the aisle as there was no time for niceties. It was actually hilarious – bride still trying to properly place her veil on her hair as she walked down the aisle. Really embarrassing. But seriously – who the hell shows up for your own wedding 45 mins late? Ridiculous.

Anyways – apologies for the long absence. And I cant promise that I’m back for good now. Will probably be in and out as usual. Life has gotten a tab busier and a host of other excuses. But thanks for your time.

p.s this is so random – but does anyone know about the head shot picture trick? Girls use it a lot. Beware of a girl whose pics on facebook are just head shots…. I’m sure you catch my drift.

Laters.